Transmissions from a debut author #5: 2020

Real talk:

4 months out from debut, writing a 2nd book under contract, dealing w life & kid & day job...it's hard

Writing is hard, generally

But writing against the noise of it all?

😭😭😭

Second book syndrome is real

Imposter syndrome is REAL

And here’s the thing that’s easy to forget: it is OK to feel this way.

It doesn't feel like it is, sometimes, because you keep reminding yourself that you've gotten to a place that you’ve wanted to get for years. You should be okay. You should be GRATEFUL. You should be ecstatic! You should be waking up happy and thinking “wow I am an AUTHOR”

“Wow I followed my dream!”

Your friends/family certainly think so. They say things like “wow this is impressive!” “How do you even WRITE a book!?”

But they also say: “Why didn’t you answer my text from last week?” “Why haven’t I seen you in a month and a half?” “What kind of friend are you, even?” “Why are you spending so much time on Twitter?”

It’s nice, but it’s also a lot. They get it, but they dont.

And sometimes you dont even get it. Not really, at least. Sometimes you think to yourself, this isn’t BRAIN SURGERY. Get over yourself, Liz. Many people have done things that are MUCH more stressful and much harder than putting a book out. Man, you’re a privileged bitch.

And that makes it all worse, obviously, because then you’re stressed about BEING STRESSED and guilty about it all too! What fun.

So i’m here to tell you—me—us all—that it is OKAY TO FEEL HOW YOU FEEL. If you’re feeling anxious — it IS a big deal to have a book out in the world! It’s a big deal to get feedback from people who you dont even know for the first time in large quantities in your entire life. There are no classes on how to handle other people’s views of what you created from scratch. It’s a total mind fuck.

I’m not going to give you some trite advice, because honestly I’ve found that sometimes things work and sometimes they dont. Even for myself, doing the same thing, hours apart on the same day.

But the one thing—the big thing—is that it is OKAY TO FEEL HOW YOU FEEL. And this too will pass.

Liz Lawson

Over 7 years in the music industry, Liz has worked as a music journalist (Paste Magazine, Tiny Mix Tapes), a music publicist (Orange Twin Records, former home of Neutral Milk Hotel), and now a music supervisor. She started her career working for illustrious music sup's Gary Calamar and Alyson Vidoli, assisting on shows like True Blood, Dexter, and House, and moved on to learn as a music coordinator under Carrie Hughes (The Hills), where she worked on several shows under the Viacom blanket (MTV, CMT, VH1). Never one to rest of her laurels, she managed to scored her own show (Black Ink Crew, VH1) several months later, and soon found a home music sup'ing that show and multiple indie films, including "May the Best Man Win" which premiered at the SXSW Film Festival in 2014 and was directed and written by Andrew O'Connor of Peep Show fame. She's currently branding her business as Vinyl Rules Music Supervision, and is currently music sup'ing Black Ink Crew and well as two indie films: A Light Beneath Their Feet, starring Taryn Manning (Orange is the New Black) and Madison Davenport, (Noah). Zen Dog, starring Kyle Gallner (the upcoming Clint Eastwood picture American Sniper, Veronica Mars) and Clea DuVall (Girl, Interrupted, Argo).